For a whole lot of my life, I dreamed of living overseas. It seemed exotic, adventurous, glamorous. I loved the idea of the unknown, the uncomfortable, the road less traveled.
I’ve never been a path-of-least-resistance sort of girl.
And then, He called. He made a way. He flung the doors wide open.
I felt brave. I felt unstoppable. I felt supernaturally empowered.
Ready to start changing the world.
Were my expectations too high? Absolutely not. I’ve seen miracles happen before my very eyes, felt them powerfully happen beneath my trembling hands. I’ve seen my Father meet people—people who have never before given Him even a passing thought—unmistakably in their dreams. I’ve seen silent pryrs answered. I’ve seen unfailing hope in the midst of unbelievable persecution. I’ve seen hearts restored, lives made new.
I’ve learned that overseas, there is nothing more important than a solid, unshakable relationship with the Creator of the universe, nothing more important than a firm foundation. I’ve learned that community and fellowship with believers gives me fuel to persevere, spurs me on, propels me forward.
I’ve been driven to my knees over and over on behalf of so many here.
I’ve felt the protection of legions of warriors, sent by my King to fight on my behalf.
I’ve stood victoriously on the highest mountaintop, I’ve cowered timidly in the lowest valley.
I’ve been driven to tears by frustration, by elation, by devastation. I’ve wept for this place and rejoiced for this place and pleaded for this place. I’ve let my heart be been captured by this place, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
And while I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that for THIS time, I am exactly where He wants me, this week I found myself desperately missing the anonymity of America. Missing the comfort, the feeling of safety. Missing being able to disappear. Laws are changing, policies are changing, This past week I’ve had to—before my feet even touch the floor—make it a point to ask my Father to guard my heart from fear. Terrorism is terrifying. But, living in fear is no way to live. I fight on the frontlines of a raging battle. I love this: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and Courageous! Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged. For G will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1.9
Pressed, but not crushed. Persecuted, but not abandoned. Struck down, but not destroyed.
Through it all, friends, I am sure of this:
HE reigns gloriously in me.
HE reigns gloriously in this place.
Nothing could ever stop our King.
This world cannot stand in the way of the redeeming work of the King of Kings!
HE reigns.
My heart’s all over the world tonight, but captured by this place.
Azerbaijan, I love you. I'll fight for you. Hey you, join me?
I ?r@y you'll be our eyes,
ReplyDeleteand watch us where we go
And help us to be wise,
in times when we don't know
Let this be our ?r@yer,
when we lose our way
Lead us to the place,
guide us with your gr@ce
To a place where we'll be safe.
Lifted to the Cloud Maker for you! <3
Jillian - You don't know me. But I'm a friend of Kris Beatie. She told me of your blog when you were both in Kzkhstn. And, I'm a faithful reader. I'm a fellow sister, from Oregon, in Kenya, and heading to As!a. Your posts so greatly encourage and bless me -- and this one, especially, today. I know what is it to have your heart be gripped by a place, a people, and a LOVE that cannot be contained. March on, fellow soldier! Your sister in Africa is lifting you up today.
ReplyDelete"I love the L because HE hears my voice and my pryr for mercy. Because HE bends down to listen, I will pry as long as I have breath!" (Ps. 116:1-2).